Been awhile...

Ok...it's been awhile...lets get that out of the way. Now that I've done that:

Should "Fatties" Get a Room? (Even on TV?)

http://www.marieclaire.com/sex-love/dating-blog/overweight-couples-on-television

I know for those of you who have already read this...there has been quite and outpouring of disgust. I am not surprised. But I am surprised that a magazine like Marie Claire would condone the last acceptable form of social biggotry.

It's no news that fat people are made fun of. To their faces, in broad daylight, on a regular basis. Ask any one of your overweight friends and I'm sure they have battle scars. But for a nationally recognized magazine to slap I'm sure at least HALF of it's readership in the face...I mean...are they insane??? Not to mention...HOW RUDE.

Maura...whilst many of us may not be as svelte as yourself, with unending private personal trainers at our disposal, I can honestly say, we are better people. How DARE you condone this type of behavior and how dare you do it in such a public forum. And how dare you call yourself a woman. It was gratuitous, self righteous and made me throw up in my mouth a little.

Perhaps next time...a thought before you "speak"? >8(

Yeah Well...

Things were going well for awhile, until the thyroid has acted up. The Doc and I have been systematically lowering my thyroid meds, trying to find my balanced place. And in the meantime my metabolism has been at a stand still. I have been staying the same, atleast according to the scale for a month atleast. I have given up getting on the scale. I feel like it may be off anyway.

I have greatly increased the amount of weight I can workout with. I am assuming this must mean I am putting on some lean muscle mass. That coupled with the fact that my clothing still fits well...and better than before in most cases. I am avoiding the scale for a bit. I think I have a mental dependancy on it...and I am usually unable to go more than 2 days without getting back on. So I've been trying not to look! I'll know how my body feels...I can tell when I gain weight. I don't need a little LED display to tell me!

Other than the weight staying the same...hovering around 298-299 now...I am happy because I am lifting well! I actually did a set of 410lb leg presses last week....4 times! Before that the most I had done was 370lbs! I have found that I am extremely competitive, even with myself. I love breaking my records...and love to get those..."did she just do that" looks from my fellow male gym-mates.

I am sure this competitive drive is what keeps me going...even when things seem uneventful!

I am probably going to be posting few and far between for the next few months, since the day camp I work for starts on June 25th. But I will try to make an appearance or two for an update...especially if there is good news!

Sorry for my absence...hopefully I'll have more time later!

Thank you for all who read my rants here!!

8) Diva K

Stress Less....

Hello again! I am back..........

I have tweaked the food intake a bit...and added some carbs only after strenuous exercise. I have also left my grits in my morning breakfast, seeing as I eat breakfast anywhere between 9:00-10:00 pm I think it will be ok.

For now, the other thing I am changing is my stressing out about this. The more I get all worked up and stressed out, the less weight I am going to be able to lose...freaking cortisol sucks! lol...

The other thing I am doing is realizing that in a big way...food does make me happy and that’s not a bad thing. It's not because I was unhappy as a child...not because it was an escape...that developed later. In my life, I love food because food was love in my house. It reminds me of my mother, and how good her kitchen smelled...and how warm and close our dinners were with friends and family. I can't fight that by completely staving off food all together, and punishing myself.

If I am never allowed to eat things I love, I will never be able to diet. For me it is about letting myself have the cheat meal...at the appropriate time...and enjoying it...being able to then go about my regular eating to live. I can't really say I agree with Eat to Live don’t Live to Eat, because I have tried that, and it seems to make me more frustrated and miserable.

So, with my “stress less about this” policy in place...I will try to regulate my eating, while not feeling like I am depriving myself of the things I love.

My main motivation for this weight loss is comfort. I am actually perfectly healthy by all accounts. Many people would not believe that looking at me…they would assume that I must have a whole host of problems wrong with me…but I don’t. No high cholesterol, no high blood pressure, (not even close) no diabetes, nothing that hinders my daily life. My thyroid wasn’t something I brought on with weight gain, it facilitated the weight gain. As long as I stay active and can lose some more weight for the aesthetic happiness I would like to achieve, I will be fine.

That’s all for today….8)

NEED TO VENT!!!

I don't know if I mentioned this before...buy I am HypoThyroid....which basically means that my metabolism and is slow. There's a lot more to it than that...but I won't go into it here! It just makes my life hard at this point, because what I am trying to do is lose weight...but my stupid thyroid is working against me! I have been struggling with weight loss since about the 6th grade...and my mother always told me that I couldn't let my thyroid be an excuse...that it was my fault also. I do believe this...(allthough I now blame her partially...after all my eating habits were taught to me by my parents) however I now have a better understanding that if I were a "normal" obese person...and by that I mean one without a thyroid disorder...I could quite possibly have lot a WHOLE LOT more that I currently have. Just with my food alone...I mean it's crazy to me...that if I stick to my low carb diet, and work out 3 times a week with a trainer and then 1 to 2 more times on my own...that it's not just FALLING OFF ME!!! I mean...WTF?

Case in point, my mother-in-law, went on a low carb diet...and within 2-3 WEEKS you could see a HUGE different, she dropped many pounds...and she looks great. She got down to her goal weight and now she jsut maintains with diet. For me...I would have to basically eat NOTHING!

Right now, my food plan is for me...sparce. I am an eater...steaks, hamburgers, omelettes and also veggies...I always ate veggies...but I LOVE my carbs too...and I can't afford to eat them..because my body is so damn sensative. 8(

For instance today I will eat:


BREAKFAST:
1/2 cup egg whites
1 omega 3 egg
1/4 cup grits (instant type-no sugar)
1 slice soy cheese
10-12 red seedless grapes

SNACK:
1 light & fit yogurt smoothie
OR
1 cup of cottage cheese & 1/4 cup blueberries

LUNCH:
6 oz of chicken breast (no skin, baked)
1 cup of veggies (usually green beans, or cauliflower or broccoli or spaghetti squash)
1 slice soy cheese

SNACK:
Protein Shake
or
Stallone in Stone Pudding

DINNER:
6 oz chicken
3 cups salad
olive oil
balsamic vinegar
garlic powder
sprinkling of parmesan cheese
salt/pepper

And then if I have worked out another meal about 3 hrs before bed...of either:
1/2 cup of egg whites with 1 slice soy cheese
OR
protein shake or pudding again

Compared to what I used to eat...THIS IS STARVING. I am not hungry...but I am not happy either. My favorite meal is breakfast. It's the most satisfying. And now my trainer wants me to cut out my grits, and the red grapes, and the blueberries, and the yogurts....she wants me to eat protein puddings or shakes instead of the yogurt. And seriously...i KNOW i cannot do that.
It's not a matter of I won't try...but she's damn well NUTS if she thinks I can live on that and be a happy person. I can't even eat my favorite food anymore...and I'm not talking pizza or anything...SUSHI! Healthy as it is..>I can't eat it...too many carbs...even with the brown rice. She's killing me here...does anyone have any OTHER suggestions for me? I don't think I can keep up this regiment much longer. I've been doing it since January...and low carb isn't supposed to be good for you long term anyway right??


AAARRRRGHHHH!! THIS SUCKS!!!

Frustration

Well...I was going strong there for awhile...and lately I have fallen off the wagon a bit. Since my vacation, my eating habits have been less then stellar. I guess what I can't get over is the fact that I used to be able to eat a LOT more when I was training in the past 2 years with a different trainer...and now I am on this restricted low carb diet and I am completely frustrated!!! I eat less than 80g of carbs a day...low carb by any description...and I am doing 2 weight training days a week and one spin day. On Mondays and Fridays I usually do my weight training and on Wednesdays my private spin class with my trainer. I used to do circuits with my last trainer and I was burning about 600 calories in an hour...now I move much slower with my current trainer and I am lucky if I burn 400 calories in an hour weight training...according to my Polar anyway...

I guess my problem is I feel like I am running in circles...and now...she wants to cut MORE carbs! I am really not into low carb...it's not healthy for long periods of time and have been on the current 75g a day since January. The proposed plan is to cut out my grits in the mornings, and my red graps (of which i only get 10 a day) and also my yogurts...(light & fit only 6g of sugar)....I am going to be miserable!!!

I feel like I could be working a little harder in the gym instead of going to my food again...I was losing a steady 2 lbs before this drastic food plan and I was working a little harder in the gym too...

Oh well...I did purchase my own spin bike on ebay so I can do some morning cardio...I am hopefull that that will help!

Thanks for listening!!! lol

8) kris

My Apologies....

It has been awhile...I apologize...I've been busy and tired!! lol...I guess I should post my progress....since my last post I lost more weight and am now down to 293lbs...which may be a little higher after my vacation last week...but I am not getting on the scale again until next monday so we'll see!

The spinning and weightlifting are going well...I can now crank out 6-8 50lb curls (with the crooked bar) and am up to about 105 lbs on the bench, and an 80lb pull down, (90 on a good day). I don't really remember a lot of the other measurements, I will try to record them this coming week...8)

It is amazing how I feel like absolute crap on the days I am not in the gym...we did make it to the gym at my cousin's complex in FL twice, but the heat and humidity down there really saps me of any energy I pretend to have...lol....I'm adding that to the list of reasons I could never live there. Allthough the thought of being on the beach all day might be a better draw once I've lost more weight!!

Anyway...I promise I will try to be here more often! Thanks to those of you who noticed I was MIA!!!

8) K

The Opie & Anthony Show

Ok...so my husband listens to O&A in the morning on the way to work, and today he drove me to work. Well, they were doing a segment on Obesity in America...and were also talking about how the modeling agencies are trying to ban anorexic models. Of course, since they started with the models, the whole discussion was only talking about obesity in WOMEN. I am SO sick of this. It's not as if there are no FAT MEN OUT THERE! The problem simply is that we are not allowed to be fat...and men are.

EX: RUBEN STUDDARD who excuse me...has to weigh like 400+ lbs!

So...they talked about how many obesity related deaths there are in the country and how WOMEN walk around saying "yeah well I'm still sexy even tho I'm fat...blah blah". I just looked it up on the American Obesity Society, and I hate to tell them, but in terms of obesity related deaths, it looks like MEN WIN.

They were also lumping together Obesity and Anorexia…which pissed me off. They were saying that there are ONLY 1000 anorexia-related deaths in the country in a year. ONLY? So it’s OK that ONLY 1000 people die from this disease that MANY more people suffer from? That’s ridiculous.

The main problem is UNREAL EXPECTATIONS. This graph I found online at www. Anred.com (Anorexia Nervosa and Related Eating Disorders) gives you an idea:

“Magazine pictures are electronically edited and airbrushed. Many entertainment celebrities are underweight, some anorexically so. How do we know what we should look like? It's hard. The table below compares average women in the U. S. with Barbie Doll and department store mannequins. It's not encouraging. (Health magazine, September 1997; and NEDIC, a Canadian eating disorders advocacy group)”

	Average Women	Barbie	Store mannequin
Height	5' 4"	6' 0"	6' 0"
Weight	145 lbs.	101 lbs	Not available
Dress size	11 -14	4	6
Bust	36 - 37"	39"	34"
Waist	29 - 31"	19"	23"
Hips	40 - 42"	33"	34"

A LITTLE double standard to say the LEAST don’t we think?

Also, I am sick of people thinking that just because you are overweight you are unhealthy. I weigh 297lbs, go the the gym 3 days a week and workout almost every day at home. The only medication I am taking currently for a disease is Synthroid for Hypothyroidism, which is part of the cause of my obesity!!!

So…for all of you non-tolerant anti-fat woman, men out there…if I catch you calling ANY woman fat or torturing her in public for your own ego boost, I am going to use my 50lb curling arms to BEAT THE CRAP OUT OF YOU!!!

Oh yeah, and good morning! 8)

-K